Here are some half-witted things you can say aloud at a dinner party if you want to draw attention to yourself
- If you’re just going to the grocery store, don’t take a Ferrari. (Think about this when hiring a professional)
- Don’t call your therapist for financial advice. Don’t call your accountant for therapy.
- There are few things more expensive than a cheap accountant/lawyer/doctor/dentist/contractor/auto mechanic you get the idea
- There’s nothing more expensive than a free boat
- Leaving loose ends in your financial life is like burying a landmine in your bank. Maybe nothing happens. Who knows?
- Withholding information from your accountant/lawyer/doctor/dentist/contractor/auto mechanic is like sending them on a little scavenger hunt. We don’t like it. We’re not Scooby-Doo, if we’re going to solve mysteries they should be ones that you can’t solve for yourself.
- There’s nothing more appealing to an auditor than an easy target
- If you insist on being flashy, you’ll be seen. In the Marines we called this a “target indicator”
- Neither audits nor romantic arguments are settled by finding out who is right. Being right is step zero. It’s all hard work after that.
- If you don’t have proof, you can’t be right. The only thing you’ll have to go on is charm.
- Auditors are not easily charmed.
- If you can’t prove you’re right, you’ll be paying for the audit to go away. Maybe get out quick and save on legal fees. Since it isn’t going to be fair, try to make it quick.
- If you need someone to say yes, do all the work so that saying yes is the only thing they have to do.
- If you had a half-built Chevy car and took it to a Ford plant, you might say “hey you guys build cars, and this is a half-built car. can you just finish this one?” they might reply “it would be cheaper, faster, and better for us to just build you one of ours from scratch.” Listen to them.
- If you tried building a car yourself and took it to an auto plant, you might say “hey you guys build cars and here is a hunk of metal and stuff. can you just finish this one?” they might reply “it would be cheaper, faster, and better for us to just build you one of ours from scratch.” Listen to them.
- The tax code is how it is because rich people want it that way. If you don’t like the tax code, you’re not rich. I mean “america rich” here. If you live in america, you’re already rich.
- The easiest way to pay less taxes is to make less money. The other way is to get rich.
